What does it mean to be deeply rooted?
To answer this, I look to the soil, the rich expanse of life and death ever unfolding and emerging in that dark and fertile void.
To me, to be deeply rooted is to remember that we are part of all things, that we as individuals are not separate from the greater whole we are all woven into.
That true sovereignty comes in fact from standing intertwined and not alone. The most resilient and enduring trees in the forest are the ones whose roots are woven with many others.
It is through this weaving that these trees can grow tall and sway in the wind- they are connected to more than just themselves. They are rooted in community, in an ecosystem that provides mutual support.
So too the more roots creating caverns and tributaries in the soil creates space for air for myriad creatures and beings to flourish and nourish the soil. In the same way, as we become awake to and cultivate our own roots we create possibility for greater richness in our communities and an ecosystem that can support and sustain all of us.
Robin Wall Kimmerer talks about how it’s not about restoration of what was, but re-story-ation, or writing ourselves back into the story of life. Seeing ourselves in the truth that we are bound up in each other and so life requires our full participation in the cycles of seed, sprout, fruit, & decay.
“There is a lingering call to remember them that, though sometimes muted by the chaos of the world, never fades away. When we diminish that call, the cost to ourselves is fragmentation and disconnection, and the cost to society is an emotional impoverishment that ignores grief and causes it to be reborn into self-and-other” Remembering is healing. It is coming home to ourselves and our place in the world and the web of all things.
-Joanne Cacciatore, Bearing the Unbearable
This is what I believe brings us back into right relation with our non human kin, ancestors, and landcestors.
When we remember & cultivate our capacity to be with grief, when we allow the circle to close completely, or as completely as possible, we are more able to hold the weight of love and loss that is present in our planet and our home at this time.
It is grief that teaches us about the preciousness of life and invites us, as we are willing, to pause, reflect, make meaning, and to mourn.
Together.
In the words of Joanne Caccitore, “It is the bereaved who are awakened from the slumber of self-satisfaction. It is the bereaved who can heal the world.” For those with a wounded heart, who know the tenderness of loss and mourning and mortality and grief are often the ones who can see more clearly the inherence of our connectedness. Those with a heart wide open are the ones who can hold the suffering of the world and birth a necessary new one.
But we don’t start there.
We start with you and what’s tender in your heart.
We first tend the wound of your grief and we enter the wilderness together.
What role does Ritual play in griefwork?
The definition of ritual is as expansive as the practices they refer to. Simply put, a ritual is anything done in time with intention that takes us outside of time and connects us to something beyond our sense of self and place.
Rituals have been used immemorial to mark the passage of time, create story and meaning, and to honor the truths and mysteries we all encounter. They bring people together and folks closer to themselves and what they hold dear.
Rituals can be especially helpful in wending the path of grief and mourning as they offer a place and space for the feelings of grief and sorrow to go. It gives us a sense of agency when so much is outside of our control and allows us to connect beyond the veils of life, death, and time. They root us in the thread of the web we are all part of.
A ritual can be tied to a specific date, time, need etc. They can be religious, spiritual, or secular, really any act that signifies a sense of meaning or presence. The ritual that we incorporate in our ritual grief care is co created based on what is personally and uniquely meaningful to you and that which you are honoring and mourning. Part of our work is inviting small intentional moments of pause, presence, and witness to who and what shapes us and gives us root. This might look like ancestor connection, lighting a candle, taking a few breaths to acknowledge our reciprocity with plant allies, prayer, ceremony, letter writing, or movement.
During our time together, my role is that of companion and space holder. This can look like deep compassionate listening, guided meditation, trauma informed movement practices and somatic techniques to accompany you in personal meaning making, emotional expression, storytelling and identity re-formation during & after transitions.
remember our interbeing
A 15 minute guided meditation
